Hey, it’s OK.

We will solve everything for you.

We have constellated you as a perfect set of data points.

Your metrics are impeccable.

We have fed your grandmother’s soup recipes into ChatGPT

and created a better one.

We have 3D scanned your father’s face, and a recording of his

voice.

You can think of it like a ghost, or a friend,

but primarily as a marketing opportunity.

Hey, it’s OK.

We know you are tired.

The algorithm predicts you will continue to be tired for the next

few decades until your tiredness levels decrease sharply.

This will, unfortunately, correlate with an outsourcing of your

essential biological functions.

We realise this may be depressing.

We have created a MidJourney picture which combines all of

your favourite art pieces into one.

It’s purchasable as an NFT, so you can own it forever,

or until the Californian basement it’s stored in sinks underwater.

We hope this will cheer you up.

We know you like scuba diving.

We realise this is taking up your time.

We realise time is short.

Hey, it’s OK

We realise the world is burning

Your adsense data gives cause for optimism, however

it shows an interest in cigars, smoking, backyard barbecues

We believe thinking of the world as your backyard, can create a

fondness for flame.

We have prepared a trajectory for you.

We would like you to think of yourself as a frog, and enjoy the

warm water.

In the interim, you can enter code SUMMERFUN at checkout,

for 5% back.

We really don’t think you should expect any more.

We really don’t.